FAT: To be or not to be?

Well, I deicded to not to be. Yes, that is written like that on purpose. I decided at my last doctor's appointment with Isaiah that I was going to lose weight after he was born. What did I weigh at that appointment, you wonder? Well, let me tell you. A slim 183. Yes, that is right, I think I actually saw the scale give a sigh of relief when I got off. I know I was pregnant, but still. I'm only 5'3 on a good day, so that was a lot of lady. The picture on the right shows what I looked like the day after we had him. Yikes! I mean seriously, did I carry that child on my thighs. Something had to be done.

Well, I was distracted by life and didn't decide to do anything until our 15 hour car ride home from Wisconsin. I decided that was it and starting the next day I was changing my life. Dramatic isn't it? Well, anyway there I went starting this journey that I have been on for close to three months now. Did I mention my good friend Tina also decided that she ws going to get married in October. There was no way I was going to look like I did in the above photo. It was a great motivator. The best motivator, however, was when Ezekiel walked up to my stomach, starting pushing on it while saying, " boing, boing, boing." That will make you want to make a change real quick.

Well, things started off great. I quit drinking soda. Now anyone that knows me very well at all just had to pick themselves up off of the floor from the shock. I was a soda addict, still am, if I'm honest, but I have quit for the good of my healthy life! Anyways, the first month or so was great, I was losing people were noticing, awesome. Then, I had to quit nursing and a few other things, BRICK WALL! Tina got married and I gained three pounds that weekend, it has taken me three weeks to get back to where I was before that. Frustrating.

Did I mention that I am working out 6 days a week? How do you gain any weight working out that much? Well, apparently you can. Let me just say a few things about working out. Anyone who says they love to work out is either lying or mentally unstable. I get that you feel better after, but the actual act of working it sucks. Everything hurts, you're sweating, and usually at some point I feel as though I may be sick. It sucks, but if I want to lose this weight, it is a very neccesary evil. I work out to a couple different videos and I get an odd satisfaction by being really snarky to the instructors, I know that they can't hear me, but it would be great if they could.

I've learned a few things so far about this whole thing. The first being the more weight I lose the lower my goal weight is. How am I ever suppose to get there and why am I doing that to myself? Second, I say all of the right thing like; " It's not a diet, it's a lifestyle change." " I just want to be healthy and be in shape." Let me tell you, that's crap. I love crappy food and if I could eat it I would. Second, in my fantasies I want to look like a Victoria's Secret model walking down the runway. After having three kids in four years, that's never going to happen. The image of my stomach is called Noelle's Secret and no one wants to see that come down the runway!

What the point of all of this rambling? Well, it's fun to write down the ups and downs of this journey. Second, I think that I am not unique with a lot of these thoughts and issues. All of my friends want to lose weight, too. I look at most of them and think I would be happy if I looked like that. The sad reality is, I wouldn't, I would just keep trying to get smaller. I'm a little crazy, yes.

So, I'll keep sharing about this journey. I'm currently 13 pounds away from may latest "goal weight." The pic to the right is where I am now. I feel I should mention that my family has been nothing but supportive. Dan constantly tells me he is proud of me and how good I look. Eliza does push ups with me. Isaiah just smiles while I work out. And Zeke, well he has stopped pushing my stomach and saying boing!